A Lot Of People Will Tell You They Will Be There For You When You Need Help; I Hope You Know They Don’t Mean It.
I spotted this post on a friend’s status a few days ago, and as sad and resounding as it appeared and made me feel, the sarcasm was not lost on me. Of course, while people say they will always be there for you when you need them, they may not always mean it or even show up when the need arises.
Yet, the post left me questioning the true motives of people, friends, family, and close knitted acquaintances who have made such utterances in the past. Do they always have our best intentions at heart or have they grown a penchant for throwing words around?
You’ve heard it before: “I’ll always be there for you, no matter what.” It’s a comforting thought, a promise of unwavering support and loyalty. But let’s be real, it’s just not true. Although it’s meant to convey the idea that they’ll be there to offer support, comfort, and help whenever we need it, that is not always the case.
Life is unpredictably unpredictable, and circumstances might shift, causing individuals to grow apart or become too preoccupied to provide the support they promised.
Unreliable support is a hard reality that many of us have faced at some point in our lives. Believing that someone will always be there for you is a recipe for disappointment, and it’s time to put an end to this idea.
First and foremost, let us acknowledge that humans are fallible. Each of us has flaws, weaknesses, and limitations. Even the most well-meaning individual may be unable to assist you when you require it. Life occurs, circumstances shift, and sometimes individuals simply cannot keep their promises.
Furthermore, expecting someone to be there for you at all times is unreasonable and unfair. It throws an undue load on the person making the promise and establishes an expectation that they will be unable to meet. It also implies a lack of personal responsibility and self-sufficiency on the side of the person receiving assistance. Shouldn’t we be able to deal with our difficulties and challenges?
Moreover, the concept of “always” is unrealistic. People can’t be there for you every single moment of your life. They have their own lives to live, and they need to take care of their own needs and responsibilities. Expecting someone to be there for you always is unfair to them and sets you up for disappointment.
But perhaps the biggest problem with believing that someone will always be there for you is that it can lead to unhealthy relationships. It can create codependency where one person feels like they cannot function without the constant support of another. It can also lead to a sense of entitlement, where someone expects others to always put their needs first, regardless of what’s going on in the other person’s life.
So what is the alternative?
We must begin to value relationships founded on mutual respect, trust, and communication. Instead of relying on the false promise of consistent support, we should seek to develop healthy and long-lasting relationships in which we may draw on each other when needed while also being self-sufficient when necessary.
This is accepting responsibility for our own mental and physical well-being rather than relying on others to keep us going. It entails being open and honest about our own needs and limitations, as well as respecting the needs and limitations of others.
It also involves realizing that relationships are dynamic and always evolving and that we may need to adapt and adjust our expectations accordingly.
If you believe those who say they will always be there for you, you will be disappointed. While friendships and relationships can be beneficial, we must be honest about their limitations and cultivate our own sense of resilience and self-reliance.
By doing so, we can negotiate life’s problems with greater ease and grace, while also developing more meaningful and gratifying relationships.
